


Confession, Consequence

by quilledcorsair



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen, ouat spoilers, season 6, spec fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quilledcorsair/pseuds/quilledcorsair
Summary: Random spec fic : When Emma tells Killian about her visions. Just a smidge of angst. Like, tiny.





	

Emma pulled the warm comforter up over her shoulders, burying her tear-stained face in her pillow, feeling the icy chill of the night send shivers down her spine. Usually, she had Killian acting as a space heater, so she never had to worry about the cold - she’s just tuck herself into him, snuggling into his shoulder, her smile pressing into his skin as he pulled her closer, his lips smoothing over her brow.

Well,  that’s how her nights _usually_ were, ever since they moved in together. But tonight, she was left to fend for herself in the cold, left with her guilt and hurt and fear and a billion other things she had worry about, apart from what caused all this in the first place - the vision.

A week after moving in with Killian, she couldn’t hide the truth from him any longer. Waking up to his bleary-eyed smiles, or the smell of fresh coffee and a warm hand brushing her hair from her face, kissing her awake - they only made her more afraid of the day she would lose it all. When she would die, and leave him all alone in this house he picked out for them, for their future, with no warning whatsoever. 

She could remember how much it hurt it, to even imagine a life without him in it. She wouldn’t wish that on her worst enemy, let alone the man she loved. And so, she told him. She told him about visiting Hyde, about the Oracle and the vision and her tremors. She told him, knowing that he would be enraged, that he would feel hurt and betrayed. She anticipated all of that, and yet, it still felt like a punch in the gut when he stormed off, signaling her to not follow him. 

She wished he’d shouted at her, told her he was disappointed in her - reacted in _someway._ Watching him leave, and knowing that the only thing she could do was wait for him (he would come back, of course he would). She stayed up until 2 am, before she came up to their empty bedroom, shuffling on tired legs and falling face first on the mattress, letting the tears finally fall. 

The truth was, no matter how much she was suffering in the aftermath of telling Killian, she doesn’t regret it. Having to carry around that burden, tip-toeing around the man to whom she’d promised a future, knowing there might actually be no future, was simply too heavy. She knew she did the right thing, and she knew she should have done it sooner. 

But now that she had, she needed him. She needed his ever present faith in her, because she can’t believe in herself anymore. No matter how much she’s struggled and tried and _hoped_ , it never seems to work out for her. She’s just so exhausted, life a constant fight, draining for all her energy.

Emma let out a shuddering breath, feeling her bones ache from weariness. She thought telling him would make things better, she thought they could share this, too. Isn’t that what true love was all about? She sighed, burrowing deeper into her bed, hoping it would just swallow her whole.

Just as she resigned herself to a night alone, she heard the front door open and close, followed by Killian stomping up the stairs. She wanted to get up, wanted them to talk and get things out in the open. But she’d been brave once today, and it left them in uncertain waters. So she shut her eyes, pretending to sleep, no matter how futile she knew it would be.

Emma listened as he quietly opened and closed their bedroom door, shedding his clothes before crawling into bed behind her. She stiffened when she felt his hand on her back, relaxing a little when he pulled her close, slipping his hand to rest on top of hers, over her abdomen.

“Hey,” she started, her voice coming out scratchier than she would have liked.

Killian hummed, pressing his lips to her shoulder, mumbling, “I’m sorry for leaving you like that, Swan,” softly.

She sighed, snuggling further into him. “I’m sorry I kept the visions a secret from you. I just didn’t want you to worry.”

He made a disgruntled noise, turning her to face him. He was frowning, his lips pursed and eyes looking so lost. She hated that she put that there. “I always worry about you, Emma. I love you, and when you insist on being thick-headed and go off fighting your own battles, the least you could do is afford me to right to worry about you.”

Emma’s expression softened, her hand carding through his hair as she attempted to formulate a suitable answer. “I- I wasn’t being stubborn,” she began, and he made to interrupt her, but she shushed him gently. “I was being selfish,” she admitted in a whisper. “I just wanted us to have a semblance of a normal life, after all these years of _fighting_  for it. Shouldn’t it all be worth something? I mean, you came back from the literal dead, because Zeus sent you back _to me_. It _has_  to mean something, and I wanted to hold on to that belief. I wanted to hold on to our happiness, and a large part of that is seeing you happy. 

“Moving in with you, wanting a life with you - it has nothing to do with the visions, Killian. I _want_ it with you because I’m in love with you. I just- I don’t want to put life on hold again.” She pressed her forehead to his, imploring him to understand.

“I’m not angry with you, Emma,” he sighed, pulling her closer to him, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. 

“Then why’d you leave?” she mumbled self-consciously, not meeting his eyes.

“I just needed time, Emma. I- It’s not everyday your lady tells you she has visions of her own impending demise. I just- I needed time.”

“Your lady?” she teased, trying to lighten the mood, even despite the tears in her voice. She tangled her legs with his, pressing her ear against his chest, smiling as it rumbled with his chuckle. “I get that you needed time. I just - I needed you, too.”

“Aye, love. I realised it after Belle spoke some sense into me; I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. My apologies.” He pressed a sweet kiss to her brow, making her smile.

After a long pause, both of them just reveling in each other, she finally spoke, confessing in a quiet, almost inaudible voice. “I’m scared, Killian.”

“Me too, darling. I have no intentions of losing you, just so you know,” he added, trying to sound stronger than he was. She simply nodded, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

“Hey, so how’s Belle?” she asked, smiling fondly as he started talking about Belle and her new found love for doughnuts.

“She eats them slathered with that peanut butter that Henry is so fond of, Swan. It just looked vile,” he shuddered, making her laugh. And as he continued to regale her with tales of Jolly Roger soon turning into a ship of all things knit, she felt a small spark of hope. With him by her side, she could change even fate’s design. 


End file.
